Greetings …. in the current issue of “Our Wisconsin” magazine (June/July) there is a page entitled “Father Knows Best” … and one of the three short pieces is on my father, Ivan Carmichael. Many of you that have followed my adventures knew that dad was a big part of my life. Not only did he get me started in hunting and fishing … but often, in his last years, he would drop me off on specific rivers and creeks, then drive to the pick up spot and wait for me to fish my way to him. These were some of the best times that we shared together and gave us a lot of father-son time while traveling to and from the spots.
As you can see from the small picture of the actual magazine spot, there is a picture of dad wading in knee deep water. This is a very special picture, not only did I take it and know exactly where it was taken, but it was the last time dad actually walked down a stream with me. I know he would have loved to continue to walk and fish … but the rocks were too slick and he didn’t want to be a hindrance to me (which he couldn’t ever have been). I hope that you have had a special father-son relationship and maybe even have transitioned to being the father in the relationship … like I have with my two sons, Harrison and Jonas. I don’t think it is any secret that this connection is not only special, but what is missing in many of today’s societal issues.
My father Ivan, well, he wasn’t always the polite and gentle older version of himself, no, in fact there were times when he came down on me pretty hard … and I am thankful to this day for these moments of ‘correction’. I hope that my sons can say the same thing …. truth is we all need direction and an occasional nudge in our lives to do the next correct thing. Dad was very good about always trying to help me better understand why other people might not always behave in the manner that I thought they should. He, Ivan, had a way of saying the right thing at the right time … even though, often it wasn’t what the 16 year old Jeff wanted to hear. So, if you still have your father, consider yourself very lucky. Why not go and have a day on the water, or maybe just take a hike … for sure, give them a call and make sure they know how important their time with you has been!
If your father, like mine, has passed … well, one thing I love to do is spend a few minutes looking back through the many pictures that I took of me and dad over the years. It is amazing how close you can actually feel and the many awesome memories that will come flooding back.
If, on the other hand, you are fortunate enough to be a father …. same rings true. Give your son(s) a call on Father’s Day! Maybe they too are now a father and passing down some of your wise words to their kids … who probably don’t want to hear it as well? To all you fathers out there … work hard, your job is one of, if not the, most important thing you will ever do and just remember, it is the legacy that will continue long after you are gone!
“You’re either part of the problem or part of the solution …. what will you be today?” I heard that line, along with many others similar in nature, many times during my childhood. It was dad’s easy way of saying that complaining does no one any good!
My father, Ivan Carmichael, was truly an incredible man. He’s been gone for almost five years now and there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t find myself thinking, talking … and lately, even looking like him! He grew up a simple man on a dairy farm; no formal education … yet he worked his way to the top of his field as a Specifier at Otis Elevator. He did so with a work ethic and a simple life code; little did I know, but he was handing ‘the code’ down to me, one day and one lesson at a time.
Dad always had time to play catch, go fishing or hunting … or in my adult years, just pick up the phone and have a conversation about nothing at all. All of my life I was blessed with great confidence; my parents and especially my father, would always have a way of subtly letting me know that while life was hard, I would and could overcome any struggles by forging ahead and doing my best.
I am now retired, I finished a 35 year teaching/coaching career in a rural high school and in fact taught the same special needs kids from one room the entire time. There wasn’t a day where I didn’t find myself up against an issue, sometimes some pretty serious issues … throwing my hands up and walking away just wasn’t an option; there was always dad there hovering over me, asking me if I was a part of the problem or a part of the solution. I took great pride in having a solution to just about all the problems I faced on a daily basis.
I was indeed one of the ‘lucky-ones’; blessed with not only great parents … but a special father who knew when to be silent and when I needed a nudge in the right direction. For sure I will sound a bit negative … but there are so many kids today who just need time from their fathers. Nothing terribly special … just a quick “How’s it going today”. Just knowing that my dad was always there for me was and still is … the confidence boost I needed to make a difference in so many of my students’ lives. My legacy is his legacy; and oh, by the way … my son is now in his 10th year of teaching special needs students. Thanks isn’t enough …. but thanks dad for being the very best father of all time!
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